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All's Well That Ends Well: Act 3 Scene 6

Scene VI Camp before Florence.

[Enter BERTRAM and the two French Lords]

SECOND LORD

Nay, good my lord, put him to't; let him have his

way.

FIRST LORD

If your lordship find him not a hilding, hold me no

more in your respect.

SECOND LORD

On my life, my lord, a bubble.

BERTRAM

Do you think I am so far deceived in him?

SECOND LORD

Believe it, my lord, in mine own direct knowledge,

without any malice, but to speak of him as my

kinsman, he's a most notable coward, an infinite and

endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner

of no one good quality worthy your lordship's

entertainment.

FIRST LORD

It were fit you knew him; lest, reposing too far in

his virtue, which he hath not, he might at some

great and trusty business in a main danger fail you.

BERTRAM

I would I knew in what particular action to try him.

FIRST LORD

None better than to let him fetch off his drum,

which you hear him so confidently undertake to do.

SECOND LORD

I, with a troop of Florentines, will suddenly

surprise him; such I will have, whom I am sure he

knows not from the enemy: we will bind and hoodwink

him so, that he shall suppose no other but that he

is carried into the leaguer of the adversaries, when

we bring him to our own tents. Be but your lordship

present at his examination: if he do not, for the

promise of his life and in the highest compulsion of

base fear, offer to betray you and deliver all the

intelligence in his power against you, and that with

the divine forfeit of his soul upon oath, never

trust my judgment in any thing.

FIRST LORD

O, for the love of laughter, let him fetch his drum;

he says he has a stratagem for't: when your

lordship sees the bottom of his success in't, and to

what metal this counterfeit lump of ore will be

melted, if you give him not John Drum's

entertainment, your inclining cannot be removed.

Here he comes.

[Enter PAROLLES]

SECOND LORD

[Aside to BERTRAM] O, for the love of laughter,

hinder not the honour of his design: let him fetch

off his drum in any hand.

BERTRAM

How now, monsieur! this drum sticks sorely in your

disposition.

FIRST LORD

A pox on't, let it go; 'tis but a drum.

PAROLLES

'But a drum'! is't 'but a drum'? A drum so lost!

There was excellent command,--to charge in with our

horse upon our own wings, and to rend our own soldiers!

FIRST LORD

That was not to be blamed in the command of the

service: it was a disaster of war that Caesar

himself could not have prevented, if he had been

there to command.

BERTRAM

Well, we cannot greatly condemn our success: some

dishonour we had in the loss of that drum; but it is

not to be recovered.

PAROLLES

It might have been recovered.

BERTRAM

It might; but it is not now.

PAROLLES

It is to be recovered: but that the merit of

service is seldom attributed to the true and exact

performer, I would have that drum or another, or

'hic jacet.'

BERTRAM

Why, if you have a stomach, to't, monsieur: if you

think your mystery in stratagem can bring this

instrument of honour again into his native quarter,

be magnanimous in the enterprise and go on; I will

grace the attempt for a worthy exploit: if you

speed well in it, the duke shall both speak of it.

and extend to you what further becomes his

greatness, even to the utmost syllable of your

worthiness.

PAROLLES

By the hand of a soldier, I will undertake it.

BERTRAM

But you must not now slumber in it.

PAROLLES

I'll about it this evening: and I will presently

pen down my dilemmas, encourage myself in my

certainty, put myself into my mortal preparation;

and by midnight look to hear further from me.

BERTRAM

May I be bold to acquaint his grace you are gone about it?

PAROLLES

I know not what the success will be, my lord; but

the attempt I vow.

BERTRAM

I know thou'rt valiant; and, to the possibility of

thy soldiership, will subscribe for thee. Farewell.

PAROLLES

I love not many words.

[Exit]

SECOND LORD

No more than a fish loves water. Is not this a

strange fellow, my lord, that so confidently seems

to undertake this business, which he knows is not to

be done; damns himself to do and dares better be

damned than to do't?

FIRST LORD

You do not know him, my lord, as we do: certain it

is that he will steal himself into a man's favour and

for a week escape a great deal of discoveries; but

when you find him out, you have him ever after.

BERTRAM

Why, do you think he will make no deed at all of

this that so seriously he does address himself unto?

SECOND LORD

None in the world; but return with an invention and

clap upon you two or three probable lies: but we

have almost embossed him; you shall see his fall

to-night; for indeed he is not for your lordship's respect.

FIRST LORD

We'll make you some sport with the fox ere we case

him. He was first smoked by the old lord Lafeu:

when his disguise and he is parted, tell me what a

sprat you shall find him; which you shall see this

very night.

SECOND LORD

I must go look my twigs: he shall be caught.

BERTRAM

Your brother he shall go along with me.

SECOND LORD

As't please your lordship: I'll leave you.

[Exit]

BERTRAM

Now will I lead you to the house, and show you

The lass I spoke of.

FIRST LORD

But you say she's honest.

BERTRAM

That's all the fault: I spoke with her but once

And found her wondrous cold; but I sent to her,

By this same coxcomb that we have i' the wind,

Tokens and letters which she did re-send;

And this is all I have done. She's a fair creature:

Will you go see her?

FIRST LORD

With all my heart, my lord.

[Exeunt]