Printable version of this page

Troilus and Cressida: Act 5 Scene 4

Scene IV Plains between Troy and the Grecian camp.

[Alarums: excursions. Enter THERSITES]

THERSITES

Now they are clapper-clawing one another; I'll go

look on. That dissembling abominable varlets Diomed,

has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave's

sleeve of Troy there in his helm: I would fain see

them meet; that that same young Trojan ass, that

loves the whore there, might send that Greekish

whore-masterly villain, with the sleeve, back to the

dissembling luxurious drab, of a sleeveless errand.

O' the t'other side, the policy of those crafty

swearing rascals, that stale old mouse-eaten dry

cheese, Nestor, and that same dog-fox, Ulysses, is

not proved worthy a blackberry: they set me up, in

policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against that dog of

as bad a kind, Achilles: and now is the cur Ajax

prouder than the cur Achilles, and will not arm

to-day; whereupon the Grecians begin to proclaim

barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opinion.

Soft! here comes sleeve, and t'other.

[Enter DIOMEDES, TROILUS following]

TROILUS

Fly not; for shouldst thou take the river Styx,

I would swim after.

DIOMEDES

Thou dost miscall retire:

I do not fly, but advantageous care

Withdrew me from the odds of multitude:

Have at thee!

THERSITES

Hold thy whore, Grecian!--now for thy whore,

Trojan!--now the sleeve, now the sleeve!

[Exeunt TROILUS and DIOMEDES, fighting]

[Enter HECTOR]

HECTOR

What art thou, Greek? art thou for Hector's match?

Art thou of blood and honour?

THERSITES

No, no, I am a rascal; a scurvy railing knave:

a very filthy rogue.

HECTOR

I do believe thee: live.

[Exit]

THERSITES

God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me; but a

plague break thy neck for frightening me! What's

become of the wenching rogues? I think they have

swallowed one another: I would laugh at that

miracle: yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself.

I'll seek them.

[Exit]