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Much Ado About Nothing: Act 1 Scene 3

Scene III The same.

[Enter DON JOHN and CONRADE]

CONRADE

What the good-year, my lord! why are you thus out

of measure sad?

DON JOHN

There is no measure in the occasion that breeds;

therefore the sadness is without limit.

CONRADE

You should hear reason.

DON JOHN

And when I have heard it, what blessing brings it?

CONRADE

If not a present remedy, at least a patient

sufferance.

DON JOHN

I wonder that thou, being, as thou sayest thou art,

born under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral

medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide

what I am: I must be sad when I have cause and smile

at no man's jests, eat when I have stomach and wait

for no man's leisure, sleep when I am drowsy and

tend on no man's business, laugh when I am merry and

claw no man in his humour.

CONRADE

Yea, but you must not make the full show of this

till you may do it without controlment. You have of

late stood out against your brother, and he hath

ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is

impossible you should take true root but by the

fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful

that you frame the season for your own harvest.

DON JOHN

I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in

his grace, and it better fits my blood to be

disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob

love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to

be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied

but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with

a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I

have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my

mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do

my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and

seek not to alter me.

CONRADE

Can you make no use of your discontent?

DON JOHN

I make all use of it, for I use it only.

Who comes here?

[Enter BORACHIO]

What news, Borachio?

BORACHIO

I came yonder from a great supper: the prince your

brother is royally entertained by Leonato: and I

can give you intelligence of an intended marriage.

DON JOHN

Will it serve for any model to build mischief on?

What is he for a fool that betroths himself to

unquietness?

BORACHIO

Marry, it is your brother's right hand.

DON JOHN

Who? the most exquisite Claudio?

BORACHIO

Even he.

DON JOHN

A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks

he?

BORACHIO

Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.

DON JOHN

A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?

BORACHIO

Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a

musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand

in hand in sad conference: I whipt me behind the

arras; and there heard it agreed upon that the

prince should woo Hero for himself, and having

obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.

DON JOHN

Come, come, let us thither: this may prove food to

my displeasure. That young start-up hath all the

glory of my overthrow: if I can cross him any way, I

bless myself every way. You are both sure, and will assist me?

CONRADE

To the death, my lord.

DON JOHN

Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the

greater that I am subdued. Would the cook were of

my mind! Shall we go prove what's to be done?

BORACHIO

We'll wait upon your lordship.

[Exeunt]