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Much Ado About Nothing: Act 3 Scene 4

Scene IV HERO's apartment.

[Enter HERO, MARGARET, and URSULA]

HERO

Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice, and desire

her to rise.

URSULA

I will, lady.

HERO

And bid her come hither.

URSULA

Well.

[Exit]

MARGARET

Troth, I think your other rabato were better.

HERO

No, pray thee, good Meg, I'll wear this.

MARGARET

By my troth, 's not so good; and I warrant your

cousin will say so.

HERO

My cousin's a fool, and thou art another: I'll wear

none but this.

MARGARET

I like the new tire within excellently, if the hair

were a thought browner; and your gown's a most rare

fashion, i' faith. I saw the Duchess of Milan's

gown that they praise so.

HERO

O, that exceeds, they say.

MARGARET

By my troth, 's but a night-gown in respect of

yours: cloth o' gold, and cuts, and laced with

silver, set with pearls, down sleeves, side sleeves,

and skirts, round underborne with a bluish tinsel:

but for a fine, quaint, graceful and excellent

fashion, yours is worth ten on 't.

HERO

God give me joy to wear it! for my heart is

exceeding heavy.

MARGARET

'Twill be heavier soon by the weight of a man.

HERO

Fie upon thee! art not ashamed?

MARGARET

Of what, lady? of speaking honourably? Is not

marriage honourable in a beggar? Is not your lord

honourable without marriage? I think you would have

me say, 'saving your reverence, a husband:' and bad

thinking do not wrest true speaking, I'll offend

nobody: is there any harm in 'the heavier for a

husband'? None, I think, and it be the right husband

and the right wife; otherwise 'tis light, and not

heavy: ask my Lady Beatrice else; here she comes.

[Enter BEATRICE]

HERO

Good morrow, coz.

BEATRICE

Good morrow, sweet Hero.

HERO

Why how now? do you speak in the sick tune?

BEATRICE

I am out of all other tune, methinks.

MARGARET

Clap's into 'Light o' love;' that goes without a

burden: do you sing it, and I'll dance it.

BEATRICE

Ye light o' love, with your heels! then, if your

husband have stables enough, you'll see he shall

lack no barns.

MARGARET

O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with my heels.

BEATRICE

'Tis almost five o'clock, cousin; tis time you were

ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill: heigh-ho!

MARGARET

For a hawk, a horse, or a husband?

BEATRICE

For the letter that begins them all, H.

MARGARET

Well, and you be not turned Turk, there's no more

sailing by the star.

BEATRICE

What means the fool, trow?

MARGARET

Nothing I; but God send every one their heart's desire!

HERO

These gloves the count sent me; they are an

excellent perfume.

BEATRICE

I am stuffed, cousin; I cannot smell.

MARGARET

A maid, and stuffed! there's goodly catching of cold.

BEATRICE

O, God help me! God help me! how long have you

professed apprehension?

MARGARET

Even since you left it. Doth not my wit become me rarely?

BEATRICE

It is not seen enough, you should wear it in your

cap. By my troth, I am sick.

MARGARET

Get you some of this distilled Carduus Benedictus,

and lay it to your heart: it is the only thing for a qualm.

HERO

There thou prickest her with a thistle.

BEATRICE

Benedictus! why Benedictus? you have some moral in

this Benedictus.

MARGARET

Moral! no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; I

meant, plain holy-thistle. You may think perchance

that I think you are in love: nay, by'r lady, I am

not such a fool to think what I list, nor I list

not to think what I can, nor indeed I cannot think,

if I would think my heart out of thinking, that you

are in love or that you will be in love or that you

can be in love. Yet Benedick was such another, and

now is he become a man: he swore he would never

marry, and yet now, in despite of his heart, he eats

his meat without grudging: and how you may be

converted I know not, but methinks you look with

your eyes as other women do.

BEATRICE

What pace is this that thy tongue keeps?

MARGARET

Not a false gallop.

[Re-enter URSULA]

URSULA

Madam, withdraw: the prince, the count, Signior

Benedick, Don John, and all the gallants of the

town, are come to fetch you to church.

HERO

Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, good Ursula.

[Exeunt]