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Much Ado About Nothing: Act 3 Scene 5

Scene V Another room in LEONATO'S house.

[Enter LEONATO, with DOGBERRY and VERGES]

LEONATO

What would you with me, honest neighbour?

DOGBERRY

Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with you

that decerns you nearly.

LEONATO

Brief, I pray you; for you see it is a busy time with me.

DOGBERRY

Marry, this it is, sir.

VERGES

Yes, in truth it is, sir.

LEONATO

What is it, my good friends?

DOGBERRY

Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the

matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so

blunt as, God help, I would desire they were; but,

in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.

VERGES

Yes, I thank God I am as honest as any man living

that is an old man and no honester than I.

DOGBERRY

Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges.

LEONATO

Neighbours, you are tedious.

DOGBERRY

It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the

poor duke's officers; but truly, for mine own part,

if I were as tedious as a king, I could find it in

my heart to bestow it all of your worship.

LEONATO

All thy tediousness on me, ah?

DOGBERRY

Yea, an 'twere a thousand pound more than 'tis; for

I hear as good exclamation on your worship as of any

man in the city; and though I be but a poor man, I

am glad to hear it.

VERGES

And so am I.

LEONATO

I would fain know what you have to say.

VERGES

Marry, sir, our watch to-night, excepting your

worship's presence, ha' ta'en a couple of as arrant

knaves as any in Messina.

DOGBERRY

A good old man, sir; he will be talking: as they

say, when the age is in, the wit is out: God help

us! it is a world to see. Well said, i' faith,

neighbour Verges: well, God's a good man; an two men

ride of a horse, one must ride behind. An honest

soul, i' faith, sir; by my troth he is, as ever

broke bread; but God is to be worshipped; all men

are not alike; alas, good neighbour!

LEONATO

Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.

DOGBERRY

Gifts that God gives.

LEONATO

I must leave you.

DOGBERRY

One word, sir: our watch, sir, have indeed

comprehended two aspicious persons, and we would

have them this morning examined before your worship.

LEONATO

Take their examination yourself and bring it me: I

am now in great haste, as it may appear unto you.

DOGBERRY

It shall be suffigance.

LEONATO

Drink some wine ere you go: fare you well.

[Enter a Messenger]

MESSENGER

My lord, they stay for you to give your daughter to

her husband.

LEONATO

I'll wait upon them: I am ready.

[Exeunt LEONATO and Messenger]

DOGBERRY

Go, good partner, go, get you to Francis Seacole;

bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the gaol: we

are now to examination these men.

VERGES

And we must do it wisely.

DOGBERRY

We will spare for no wit, I warrant you; here's

that shall drive some of them to a non-come: only

get the learned writer to set down our

excommunication and meet me at the gaol.

[Exeunt]