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King Henry IV, Part 2: Act 5 Scene 1
Scene I Gloucestershire. SHALLOW'S house.
- [Enter SHALLOW, FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, and Page]
- By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away to-night.
- What, Davy, I say!
- You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow.
- I will not excuse you; you shall not be excused;
- excuses shall not be admitted; there is no excuse
- shall serve; you shall not be excused. Why, Davy!
- [Enter DAVY]
- Here, sir.
- Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy, let me see, Davy; let me
- see, Davy; let me see: yea, marry, William cook,
- bid him come hither. Sir John, you shall not be excused.
- Marry, sir, thus; those precepts cannot be served:
- and, again, sir, shall we sow the headland with wheat?
- With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook: are
- there no young pigeons?
- Yes, sir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeing
- and plough-irons.
- Let it be cast and paid. Sir John, you shall not be excused.
- Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must need be
- had: and, sir, do you mean to stop any of William's
- wages, about the sack he lost the other day at
- Hinckley fair?
- A' shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a couple
- of short-legged hens, a joint of mutton, and any
- pretty little tiny kickshaws, tell William cook.
- Doth the man of war stay all night, sir?
- Yea, Davy. I will use him well: a friend i' the
- court is better than a penny in purse. Use his men
- well, Davy; for they are arrant knaves, and will backbite.
- No worse than they are backbitten, sir; for they
- have marvellous foul linen.
- Well conceited, Davy: about thy business, Davy.
- I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor of
- Woncot against Clement Perkes of the hill.
- There is many complaints, Davy, against that Visor:
- that Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge.
- I grant your worship that he is a knave, sir; but
- yet, God forbid, sir, but a knave should have some
- countenance at his friend's request. An honest
- man, sir, is able to speak for himself, when a knave
- is not. I have served your worship truly, sir,
- this eight years; and if I cannot once or twice in
- a quarter bear out a knave against an honest man, I
- have but a very little credit with your worship. The
- knave is mine honest friend, sir; therefore, I
- beseech your worship, let him be countenanced.
- Go to; I say he shall have no wrong. Look about, Davy.
- [Exit DAVY]
- Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come, off
- with your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph.
- I am glad to see your worship.
- I thank thee with all my heart, kind
- Master Bardolph: and welcome, my tall fellow.
- [To the Page]
- Come, Sir John.
- I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow.
- [Exit SHALLOW]
- Bardolph, look to our horses.
- [Exeunt BARDOLPH and Page]
- If I were sawed into quantities, I should make four
- dozen of such bearded hermits' staves as Master
- Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to see the
- semblable coherence of his men's spirits and his:
- they, by observing of him, do bear themselves like
- foolish justices; he, by conversing with them, is
- turned into a justice-like serving-man: their
- spirits are so married in conjunction with the
- participation of society that they flock together in
- consent, like so many wild-geese. If I had a suit
- to Master Shallow, I would humour his men with the
- imputation of being near their master: if to his
- men, I would curry with Master Shallow that no man
- could better command his servants. It is certain
- that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is
- caught, as men take diseases, one of another:
- therefore let men take heed of their company. I
- will devise matter enough out of this Shallow to
- keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing
- out of six fashions, which is four terms, or two
- actions, and a' shall laugh without intervallums. O,
- it is much that a lie with a slight oath and a jest
- with a sad brow will do with a fellow that never
- had the ache in his shoulders! O, you shall see him
- laugh till his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up!
- [Within] Sir John!
- I come, Master Shallow; I come, Master Shallow.